You will constantly check your
locked door before you go to bed and went through a series of
unlocked-locked-unlocked-locked door just to make sure everything's fine.
You will only sleep if the lights
were turned on, and take about a year to finally sleep with the light turned
off. You slept at 1-2 pm everyday just to make sure your heart feel at ease
before going to sleep. Through time, you finally change your sleeping pattern, now;
you sleep at 8pm just to wake up at 1 or 2 am because you suddenly feel threatened.
You make sure all your valuables are within hug-distance because you knew you wouldn’t
have the money to replace it all, the second time.
This routine gets worse if you
are having a sleepover at your friend’s house. Sometimes, you can’t fall to
sleep; at all and ended up watching your friends drifting in dreams.
Not to mention the increase of
Heart Rate, Tachycardia and palpitations that you felt all the time. These
symptoms will eventually go away, but in the meantime, you must stay strong and
have faith.
These all happened due to the one-time
event where a thief (or; thieves) broke into my house while me and my friends
were in deep sleep. I woke up early that day just to see the thief ran away
along with our laptops and money.
Why the event bring such a great
despair to me? Well, firstly, as a girl, living abroad, far away from family
makes me realize, there’s no one to protect me. I have to protect myself. Secondly,
I was the one that saw the thief. Thirdly, thinking that I might have been a
victim of rape (or murder!) trembles me. Alhamdulillah, Allah protected me that
night. The thief only took some of our belongings and might have taken it all
if I was not awake early that day.
I know I have the Anxiety Disorder,
but I’m trying the best I can to get myself treated. Self-healing is important
because only you can “PSYCHO” yourself to eventually feels at ease. Trusting my
life to Allah has been a great help. You become more relaxed if you turn to
Allah, Have faith in Him and have Tawakkal.
Be strong My Fellow Friends, Allah's with you.
