You will constantly check your locked door before you go to bed and went through a series of unlocked-locked-unlocked-locked door just to make sure everything's fine.
You will only sleep if the lights were turned on, and take about a year to finally sleep with the light turned off. You slept at 1-2 pm everyday just to make sure your heart feel at ease before going to sleep. Through time, you finally change your sleeping pattern, now; you sleep at 8pm just to wake up at 1 or 2 am because you suddenly feel threatened. You make sure all your valuables are within hug-distance because you knew you wouldn’t have the money to replace it all, the second time.
This routine gets worse if you are having a sleepover at your friend’s house. Sometimes, you can’t fall to sleep; at all and ended up watching your friends drifting in dreams.
Not to mention the increase of Heart Rate, Tachycardia and palpitations that you felt all the time. These symptoms will eventually go away, but in the meantime, you must stay strong and have faith.
These all happened due to the one-time event where a thief (or; thieves) broke into my house while me and my friends were in deep sleep. I woke up early that day just to see the thief ran away along with our laptops and money.
Why the event bring such a great despair to me? Well, firstly, as a girl, living abroad, far away from family makes me realize, there’s no one to protect me. I have to protect myself. Secondly, I was the one that saw the thief. Thirdly, thinking that I might have been a victim of rape (or murder!) trembles me. Alhamdulillah, Allah protected me that night. The thief only took some of our belongings and might have taken it all if I was not awake early that day.
I know I have the Anxiety Disorder, but I’m trying the best I can to get myself treated. Self-healing is important because only you can “PSYCHO” yourself to eventually feels at ease. Trusting my life to Allah has been a great help. You become more relaxed if you turn to Allah, Have faith in Him and have Tawakkal.
Be strong My Fellow Friends, Allah's with you.